25 Weeks!

It's been an eventful two weeks! We had my baby shower which was wonderful and it was great to have so many friends and family travel to be there! I also had my fetal echocardiogram which came back normal- yea! I've developed a heart murmur so my echo will be next week... hopefully all goes well there, too.

Picture of the baby at the echocardiogram:

I now have to see the OB every 2 weeks so I'm pretty inundated with doctor appointments but as long as everything is going well I don't mind.

Here are some pictures from the baby shower:

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I'm 23 weeks this week and definitely feeling the additional weight. We picked up the crib and dresser last Wednesday so that is exciting but I haven't adjusted to the crowding from the new furniture. This weekend (3/15/14) Rob felt the baby move for the first time. I think I was more excited than he was! Otherwise, I'm just feeling very tired. I have been trying to do prenatal yoga but it's hard when I'm so exhausted!

Baby's sweet face at the anatomy scan:

It's a...

Baby Carr's Sex Reveal!

 

Special thanks to Sarah G. for taking the pictures and Aimee N. for video taping it!

18 Weeks!

I figured I should post an update- I think superstition has kept me from putting very much out there. Here is my 18 week bump! I felt the first little nudges and flutters of movement on Sunday (2/16/14) and could not be more excited. I love feeling the little movements- it helps calm me down and know that there REALLY is a baby in there! This is my favorite maternity shirt- it says "I love you already." I have my anatomy scan in a week and am anxious to learn the sex of the baby. Rob doesn't want to find out so I am going to try to keep it a surprise for him. Otherwise, I am feeling much better (no more morning sickness!) but very tired. The kids at school are super excited and write notes to the baby on the whiteboard. I'll try to add pics later.

A belated first ultrasound report...

I had my first ultrasound at what I thought was 7 weeks on Nov. 26th. The baby looks good and we were able to see and hear a heartbeat (120)! It did measure a bit small so they have moved my due date from Jul 15 to Jul 23. It feels weird to "gain" a week back. My follow up with the doc went well but I will have to see a perinatologist since I am such high risk in addition to the obgyn.

Here's the pic of our little peanut. I already love him/her so much!

Finally Two Lines!

I can't believe I am writing this blog post but on November 7th I finally saw two lines! I was presenting at a Conference on Nov. 8 and was super nervous. I had to leave on the Nov. 7th after school and really wanted to take a xanax in the morning. I was about to take one and then thought about the fact that I didn't start my period. I figured I would poas just to make sure and then have my pill. I didn't even watch it- I just went and ate my bacon since I was so sure it would be negative. But it was positive!

 
I am so excited and terrified at the same time. I am praying that this is our take home baby. I've done a lot of reflecting on this journey over the past few days and I decided to make a list of what went into my (somewhat unconventional) infertility experience:

1. 3+ years from wanting to conceive to actually seeing two lines
2. a year and a half of chemotherapy weekly shots to get my immune system under control just so I could start TTC
3. 1 year, 2 months, 15 days of actively trying to conceive with an infertility diagnosis, endometriosis, systemic lupus, and a very rare bleeding disorder
4. 1 laparoscopic surgery to remove endo and push dye through my tubes
5. 882 prenatal vitamins
6. 441 BBTs recorded

So far my only symptoms have been a missed period, sore breasts, and little waves of nausea here and there.  

I told my husband when I got back from the conference by giving him a onesie with little fish and a turtle on it I bought a LONG time ago :)

Accepting the waiting...

Today I came to the realization that I will probably have to wait another 3 months to see the RE. My health insurance sucks and we are still trying to figure out my bills from my lap surgery. I'm switching to DH's insurance but it doesn't kick in until January. Although fertility still isn't covered, the RE's group is in network so some of the bloodwork, ultrasounds, etc might be partially covered.

It's so hard to realize that I will continue to wait. IF places stress on all facets of your life and challenges even the strongest marriages. I try to focus on the positives but waiting is so difficult. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I know someday that I will hold our baby and all of the tears and pain will be worth it but right now it seems like such a distant dream.